Nine

We’re going on vacation. Dad planned it. I don’t really want to go. It’s stupid anyway. We’d basically go to a “resort” but really it’s just so dad can gamble all weekend. So not exactly a family fun weekend for Edith and I. But at least i’ll get out of town for a bit.
Once we’re there Edith and I just swim in the pool a lot. Not a whole lotta people are there. It’s not a holiday weekend or anything. Dad comes back and says he met someone named Spartacus. He could be drunk. But I don’t think he is. “A new gambling buddy for me” dad says.

Eight

I wake up. It is still dark out. Edith is tapping on my shoulder.

“What do you need Edith?” I ask sleepily. Why is she here so early? She doesn’t ever do this. Probably just a bad dream or something.
“I saw a ghost, Ethel. It was white. And looked sad. I tried to talked to it, but then it went away.”
“You probably just dreamt it, you crazy girl”
“No Ethel, this is for real!”
“Okay, calm down. If it went away then it’s not here to bother you right?”
“I guess so. But why is it here in the first place?”
“Who knows? Who cares?”
Edith looks at me with sad eyes. Maybe the same sad eyes this ghost had. Do I believe Edith? Do I even believe in ghosts?
“Ok Edith,” I tell her calmly “Next time you see the ghost ask her why they are here. Maybe you could help them out.”
“Will you help me?”
“If you wake me up in time, I suppose I can. But go back to bed for now. Yeah?”
“Ok, see you in the morning Ethel”
But I can’t seem to fall asleep again. I didn’t think I was scared of ghosts, but now maybe I am. Maybe just curious. Maybe I just can’t fall asleep. Who knows? Who cares?
Suddenly Edith starts wailing. I run over, shake her. Nothing. Why won’t she stop? She feels really hot. A fever? Why won’t start screaming. Is she asleep right now? I run to dad. We take her to the clinic in town. Most of what happened after that is a blur. Dad is asleep next to me. I still can’t sleep. I hope Edith will be ok. This room feels so sterile. And cold. God it's so cold.

Someone is sitting in a chair across the room. A girl. Looks about 10 or so. She is all alone. And very pale. And sad. Maybe this is the ghost Edith saw. Shit. What do I do? No one else is in here except for my dad and some lady who works at the clinic who doesn't seem to notice. And then just like that the girl is gone.

"Did you see her too?" the woman in scrubs asks.

"Yeah, is she here a lot?"

"I've seen her a couple times before. Not always here though. As long as she doesn't bother people she's fine I guess."

"She's a ghost right?"

"As far as I know. I'm Clara Kate by the way"

"I'm Ethel Roberts. Do you know if my sister Edith will be ok?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know. I just got done seeing another patient. I could maybe check on her for you, if you like."

"That would be so helpful."

"Sure. Just wait here. I'll be back soon and let you know." Clara Kate leaves quickly. She has kind of a weird gait. As soon as she leaves the room is still. Creepy still. I guess all that's left for me to do is wait.

Seven

All the mugging stuff got cleared up. Everything was just a big miscommunication I suppose. Such a waste of time. I’m glad everything is cleared but, I feel weird. I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but something has been off lately. Or more than usual at least. I think it might be dad. This whole situation reminds me a little bit of him a couple years ago.
Dad was the suspect in murder case a while back. I was about 6, I guess. Some woman in his office was murdered on her way out of the building and somehow he got mixed up in it. I couldn’t imagine him having anything to do with it, but all the evidence got twisted into turning him into a bad guy. Maybe he was. Never to me of course. But still. Everyone has a hidden side. I just didn’t know it at the time. It was crazy.

I didn’t really understand a lot that was going on but it was the first time I realized my dad might not be the superman I thought he was. He told me all the time to “believe him” and “trust him” like I didn’t already. Why did he need to tell me that? Edith was still just a baby. Maybe hadn’t even been born in the beginning of it. I couldn’t talk to her about it. And she definitely didn’t know what was going on. I just remember my dad being frustrated and tired more often. Sad sometimes, maybe a little angry but he was mostly just tired. I think. It was the first time I’d ever questioned whether my dad was good or not. I’d always assumed. I mean, come on. He was just dad.

Obviously he’s not in jail. They found the real guy that did it. He was a real creep looking back on it. They shoulda known from the start.

It’s all in the past now. I don’t even know why I’m talking about it. It’s been years and years. Sometimes I forget it ever happened. It just popped up in my mind today for some reason. I guess we do have similar situations. But whatever. Maybe the guilty look just runs in my family.

I’ve always kinda wanted to ask dad about it, but am scared that he’ll get mad or sad or tired. I feel like he’d rather just forget about the whole thing. He’s got a tendency to forget stuff anyway. I don’t know if it’s possible to forget somethings though. No matter how much you convince yourself it didn’t happen or at least not to you, deep down you know exactly what happened.

Six

This is ridiculous. I was only passing by. No one else saw the whole thing. I didn’t actually do anything. I only have one arm for fucks sake. How am I supposed to mug anyone with one arm? The guy that really did it got away. I’ve seen him around town, but I don’t know his name. He was at the Casa de Waffles when they were handing out free stuff. UGH. It went like this:

I had to clear my head for a bit. Our house was crazy. It’s been weird cuz everyone has been definitely noticed my lack of arm but no one will acknowledge it. I’ve almost gotten used to getting by with one arm, but no one else can see past it. But that’s beside the point. Anyway. I went for a walk. Too lazy to run. Not lazy enough to just sit or sleep. It was almost dark. I probably should have just turned around and gone home so all this could have been avoided. But I didn’t. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. I walked down Brownstone over by the elementary school. I saw someone getting mugged. I honestly didn’t care. It kinda seems to happen a lot in this town. I just kept walking. Someone else must’ve seen it all go down and call the cops cuz while I was walking turning around and headed back home, the next thing I knew they were swarming. I just wanted to get home and by that time there was a crowd so I just kinda started pushing people with my nub. Turns out, I was the only one the cops actually saw on the scene so they asked me a bunch of questions and the next thing I know they were taking me away. Whoever got mugged probably said I did it. Asshole! Why else would they take me? Maybe it’s all a huge conspiracy to ruin my life. Probably. Ever since I got in that car accident my life has been off. This is just another story to tell my kids I guess. Hey son, don’t fuck with cops because they’re complete morons. And they completely abuse their power. Whatever. I am so tired. And sore. All over. I just want to burrow under my covers and sleep forever. But I think I probably have to go to court. Don’t know when. Don’t know where. Dad will figure it out.

I think the worst thing about all this is Edith. Coming home and seeing her made me feel awful. She knows I didn’t do anything. At least I hope she does. But I feel like she’s been a tad neglected the past couple months. With everything going on, it’s easy to forget about her. I’m guilty of it too. But she’s been a trooper. Maybe I’ll try taking her out to breakfast again. one I get out of this stupid situation.